Some of you might think this post is a week too late. But ahhhh, actually it is fifty-one weeks early!
Many of us spent last Sunday, February 14th, Valentine’s Day enraptured in the love and passion of our significant others. Many rushed out and bought jewelry, roses, candy and some, more extravagant gifts to profess and illustrate their love and devotion to their mates. I’m sure the day’s celebration was followed by an equally enrapturing night of passion. God…do I love this time of year!
Now, this is where the fun starts. How we spend the rest of the year truly is what give us the true sense of satisfaction, peace, contentment, passion, purpose and ultimately the deep enduring love we find in our intimate relationships. Now, is where you can capitalize on an opportunity to render February 14, 2022 virtually meaningless or at the very least just another day in a life filled with unbounding and ever expressed adulation.
Studies have been done that have shown that many people are more stressed by their home life than their work life. So, let’s take some steps to make sure we create the type of supportive loving atmosphere at home that allows us and our mates the peace we all deserve to come home to after a hectic day out in the world.
Here are 3 things you can do starting today to ensure you and your lover see, understand and feel the deep love you share on a daily basis.
1) Commit. I don’t mean falling on one knee and proposing marriage to live together forever more. Though this still is one of the most romantic acts a couple experiences together. The commitment I am talking about is one of truly committing that nothing is more important than your relationship.
Whatever the problem or challenge you face, you are committing to facing it together, united and with a spirit of being on the same side. Even when the challenge is a disagreement between you. Though this is counter intuitive it is a very powerful perspective to adopt. When you can maintain the attitude that even though we disagree we are in this thing together you are more likely to find solutions and resolutions to the problems and disagreement you face. You more readily offer understanding and compromise than trying to find fault, make yourself right or offer blame.
You always remain on the same team with the common purpose of living a peaceful, joyous and purposeful existence, together.
2) Make an effort to truly understand your partner and their perspective. I suggest a book titled, The Five Love Languages written by Gary Chapman. After you’ve read the book or simply taken the test on the website of the same name, take some time to discuss what you have learned about yourselves and each other. Once you master how your lover both, expresses and, most feels love you will be better able to ensure your gestures of adoration are most impactful.
The five love languages are; Gifts, Acts of Service, Words, Touch and Time. Many times we naturally express our love to our mates in the love language that we ourselves possess. For instance, if we most feel loved by receiving gifts when we want to show our love to someone special, we naturally give them a gift. This is a beautiful gesture but if we lack the understanding that our lover most feels loved when we spend time with them then an unspoken frustration starts to fester, especially if our lack of understanding is coupled with us being challenged by the demands of work and other commitments that prevent us for truly expressing our reverence by spending time with them. Though they feel appreciation for your efforts they don’t really feel the love that they crave from you. Gaining a clear understanding of our partners with their natural love language in mind is relationship gold and shouldn’t be underestimated.
Do whatever you can to gain insight into what makes your partner tick and take consistent action throughout the year to reinforce your affection.
3) Make kindness your standard. Now that you have committed that there is absolutely nothing more important than your relationship, and you’ve gotten crystal clear about how your mate most feels loved by you, you need only initiate and respond in your interactions with kindness. Sure, disagreements are bound to come up but mastering all three of the aspects here will mitigate the potential damage of a difference of opinion, oversight or accidental misdeed. You will have created an atmosphere of devotion, acceptance, trust and admiration that naturally fosters the benefit of the doubt that will help assuage otherwise potential emotionally volatile situations. I call this romantic equity. This equity helps build the love, trust and understanding that is indispensable. Your commitment, understanding, and kindness provides the fertile ground for all of these to return to you like a spring rain when you most need it. Plus, the passion fostered in this environment will often transmute into increased passion and ultimately burning out of control ecstasy.
With the increase understanding and support you feel in your home buoying your emotional wellbeing, not only will you find that your passion and love burns brighter but the element of inner peace and contentment you feel in your life will have become deeper than you ever imagined.
The season of love is always upon us. Seize the moment all throughout the year!
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